What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
09.06.2025 08:11
My mum and dad in the seventies!
It was going to be , some day.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Scientists discover universal rule that governs all life on Earth - The Brighter Side of News
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
HBO’s New Movie Fiercely Splits Critics & Audiences On Rotten Tomatoes - Screen Rant
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Resilience may protect against psychopathic traits in people with childhood trauma - PsyPost
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Why Mets are positioned to fare better than Yankees in latest Dodgers series - New York Post
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Have you ever been a victim of gaslighting? What happened?
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
But, we were locked up after school.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
My family never makes their pension either.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
She wouldn,t have been !
I could never make a relationship work though!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Putin's uncompromising demands emerge after the latest round of Russia-Ukraine peace talks - AP News
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
What are the psychological reasons behind an extreme obsession with another human being?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I waited trembling.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Aldi vs Oreo: Oreo maker sues Aldi over 'copycat' packaging - BBC
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
This is soul school!.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
The President Is Dead (In Helldivers 2) - Kotaku
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
We all went to grammer schools
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I write beautiful poetry .
When she asked me how she looked .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
She found it foreign!.
I was very sick at this time too.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
So whats the point in blame.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Especially a lifetime of it.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
But it wasn’t much.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He knew the spot.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I was 9 years of age.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I was scared of men, in general
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
And i lived it daily.
Would this be the day?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
My life is so biszare .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
All the time i was locked up.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I said to her
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Who then, do I blame.?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I don,t even have a pension.
I think the readers, may guess!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
So, i spoilt her more .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
The only rule us 5 kids had .
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
She was in good health!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Why did i forgive my father ?
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I never cut or harmed myself..
But ive been too sick for many years..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I will be 64.
I was seconnd youngest,
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Ive learnt so much.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She loved him until the end.
I couldn’t, believe it.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
(And it was in our own minds.)
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
He resisted the act ,that day.
I have no regrets .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Im still living with it.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
As i do to all so called friends.?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
What did i know ?
Comes on , in middle age.
We were not on the streets..
She married twice! .
Im dying but, im not bitter.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
One cannot live in the past .
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Put me off passion for life!!